UPDATE // the happiest [& most hectic] i've ever been

At the mo, life is hectic.
It's kind of crazy to think that we're almost half way through the year.

2014 has been a really strange year for me. It started with me feeling really lost, last autumn I'd applied to do Clinical Psychology at University, I'd fallen in love with the course and Loughborough University but at the start of this year reality settled in. I've never been academic, so the idea of doing a course at University just because it interested me rather than being something I needed for a future career just seemed stupid to me! BUT I was in a really shit place so I felt as if there was nothing else for me. April-May were really awful months for me, as some of you may know when I was younger I had an eating disorder and ever since I've suffered from depression [extremely light compared to a lot of other people] but in April time I had the lowest time of my entire life. I refused to get out of bed or go to Sixth Form, I turned my phone off and barely spoke to my friends - I was in a horrible place.

BUT everything is falling into place a couple of months later; I am the happiest I've been for a very long time. That's the thing, you may be in a really shit place, but things will get better, you just have to hold on. 

Ditching the idea of University, I decided on finding a job and as if fate was on my side, I'm now employed!!! In fact, I started my new contract this week, so it's rather hectic juggling my last 4 exams and full-time employment but it means that I can be financially independent and this is where life starts really. I am so lucky that I work with an amazing bunch of people, my boss is lovely and I get along with all the other girls so well, it's a real family-vibe. Working in retail means that there are some down sides, eg: being in work at 6:45AM for stock check, but there are so many positives. I feel as if I'm really thriving in the work place and it's such a weight off my shoulders knowing I don't have to ever do anything 'education'y' again. I

I've never been 100% certain what 'I want to do when I grow up' but I feel as if I'm slowly finding it. I definitely don't want to be a sales assistant for the rest of my life, but now I'm becoming more financially stable, visiting places I've always wanted to and experiencing different opportunities I feel like I'm getting that little bit closer to knowing what I want to do. My advice is, it's your life, so do what YOU want and be who YOU want to be, work hard and everything will fall into place. It won't happen over night and it may be a bumpy road, but you'll get there and it's the best feeling. I'm not anywhere near where I want to be but I know I'm finally on the right road and I've just got to keep going to see where it takes me.

ME-wise, I'm not only happy about what the future holds but I'm feeling happiest in ME as a person for first time...ever!! I've managed to loose some weight and tone up [a little bit] but I'm super happy with my body, cellulite, stretch marks, flabby-thighs and all! I've found a style that I feel super comfortable in and I think that radiates a new found confidence. I've evened out as a person a lot more, I used to be incredibly up-tight, as well as switching moods in seconds. I just think I'm becoming the person I'm going to be for the rest of my life and I quite like her, compared to the miserable up-tight bitch I've been for far too many years. I have the most incredible Dad, amazing friends and people in my life. I am single, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest - it's just another piece of the puzzle that'll fall into place at some point, I've never been bothered about having a boyfriend but what's meant to be will be! I just feel like I'm starting to appreciate the things we're all so lucky to have and usually take for granted, as BLINK-182 once said "all the small things" and that's all that matters in the end.

Let's be honest, on the Gabi-scale [it's an official thing yanno] I've been on a blogging-role. Ever since I started this new blog earlier on this year, I've felt like I've made a lot of progress blogging wise. Looking back at my old blog [thelifeofgabriella, now deleted *sobs*] GBLNIHN is a world away, I am much happier with my photos, content and layout...although I'll never be a 'clean-cut' blogger, I like my little quirks and odd spelling mistake, I feel this blog is more 'me' and really reflective of where I am in my life.

I am uber hectic at the moment [up until the 12th June] what with exams and work, but I promise once those are out the way there'll be plenty more blog posts on the way. I plan to continue posting Outfit of the Days, hauls etc but a lot more lifestyle as well - like this chatty post, or snaps of where I've been and what I've been up too. I take my camera everywhere with me nowadays so I hope you guys will like that.

In the grand scale of things, my blog is super teeny-tiny, but if you're reading this and you choose to follow me that means so much to me, like it always has and it always will. I have made so many friends through Tumblr, blogging, YouTube and I adore this not-so-little community.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, but I just wanted to write a little update to explain why I've been so distant-blogging wise and when I'll be back for good!
I hope you're all having an incredible week, that you have an amazing weekend.

Lots of love,
Gabs xxxx