I've wanted to write a post like this for a long time, but never known quite how to tackle it.
On the internet, there is a lot of 'hype' around mental illness. Whether it's support for one another, romanticising it or taking the piss. I believe that everyone suffers from different degrees of mental illness, because at the end of the day we've all got the same wires, just some are connected differently.
For example, some people feel anxious in certain situations and other people suffer from anxiety...some people have a bad week and it really takes an effect on their mood and other people fall into depressive patches without a trigger...or in some cases, with a trigger.
I think what I'm trying to say is that there's a blurred line between normal feelings of anxiety, sadness, stress and clinical mental illness. I'm in no way comparing someone that's had a bad day to someone with severe depression but at the same time I'm saying, sometimes we all go through rough patches.
Today's post is my realistic guide to getting through rough times.
In no way am I an expert and I am well aware there's a million and one posts out there on this same subject, focusing on the general, the specific and all the bits in between. A lot of posts I've seen rely on you being able to take time out of your job/education to get out of that place or to take long walks on the beach, have money to buy the best fruit and veg etc but I, along with many others can't always do that.
I hate to talk about it on my blog, because I never want people to think I'm attention seeking but you guys all probably know by now that I suffered with an eating disorder and depression has been something I've battled with ever since. Don't get me wrong, my depression isn't near as bad as others but it does hit me out of nowhere and can knock me out for a while. I tend to get very angry and frustrated, I'll refuse to leave bed and just feel so lost. Kind of like I'm wondering round in a trance with a rain cloud following me wherever I go. In these times I tend to start comparing myself to others, people with better bodies, better jobs, living in cooler places and it becomes this really dark circle that leads me back to when I had eating troubles...just the feeling of hating myself. One of the worst traits about myself is that I'm sunshine or thunderstorms, when I'm up I'm way up but when I'm down I couldn't be lower and I think in a way that makes my depressive bouts ten times harder.
From personal experience I've found these extremely simple things can help to make a rough patch easier.
1. ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SAD
I remember talking to a psychologist once and he reminded me that it's totally okay and normal to be in a tough place BUT you can't allow that to be an excuse to stay in your current state. I think sometimes, trying to fight it can be worse. You need to accept that you're sad/going through a rough place and then take a deep breath and work through it.
2. TALK ABOUT IT
Now, I'm well aware that it sounds easy to talk about it but sometimes it isn't. You might feel as if you have no one to talk to, that whatever you're going through is totally stupid and no one will understand or if you're anything like me, not even know where to start BUT that's okay. It sounds slightly crazy, but talk to yourself, even by saying things out loud might bring you a little bit of clarity. It's like when you've got a cold and you have to keep blowing your nose, you've got to get the shit out. Also, but talking about it, you might find your solution, be it long term or short term.
3. GO FOR A WALK
Now this doesn't have to be down a beach at sunset or through a rain forest, literally take yourself wherever. Walk down the road, walk through your local town, walk through a field - trust me, just getting out, walking, listening to music [if you feel like it], getting fresh air...it's so important. It's all well and good staying in your four walls, but that doesn't do you any good. Being in the same environment means you're going to be surrounded by the same shitty thoughts and air.
4. DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND DON'T FORGET TO EAT
It's a basic but something you'll probably overlook or just not feel like doing. Drinking water is so damn good for you, it keeps you feeling refreshed and that mind strong. Plus, it'll give you clear, amazing skin which is always a bonus.
I don't even need to explain the importance of eating. For me, this is always a huge one. When I'm sad I tend to binge eat and coming from my background - that's a dangerous game to play and it's something I continuously battle. At the end of the day, you can't force yourself to eat but just putting something in is important. At the end of the day, your mind is your body and you've got to keep it strong.
5. FEELING LOST IS NORMAL
I'm without a doubt a control freak, I feel as if I consistently need to have my life together but really it's rare to have it all sorted. I've spoken to people my age, ten years older and even thirty years older who still feel lost. Whether it's where your career/education is taking you, relationships or even who you are yourself - it's normal and that's something I need to remember. Talk to anyone around you and I guarantee they'll have felt the same or be feeling it at that exact moment.
6. WATCH FILMS, READ BOOKS & LISTEN TO MUSIC
Although I think it's extremely important to tackle what's going on, sometimes a little bit of escapism helps. When I'm really down, I tend to turn to films. It's a way of not thinking about shit for a couple of hours. I find that with books as well, personally it makes me feel a little more creative again and that in itself motivates me to get back up and start again. Music is so so so important. Whether you need to listen to really depressing James Blunt stuff or dance like a loser on your own to lame 80s hits, it's a cure in itself.
7. SEEK HELP
Don't be afraid to get help. No matter what's going on or where you're at, there's help out there. There's no shame in going to the Doctors for help. I know there's a lot of stigma that says Doctors often throw mental-problems to one side, but you have to try regardless. Also, if you need to talk to a professional don't be afraid. I've spoken to lots of different psychologists and it's always been a positive experience. It's scary, admitting you're in a tough patch but there's no shame in it.
I remember the first time I spoke to someone, I came out and I felt as if I could take a full breathe of air. It was as if I could properly breathe again and I know totally understand the phrase "getting it off your chest," just by admitting shit was getting to me.
8. WALK AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
Recently, I had a really rough time and it was all down to social media. I'd gotten to a place where I was consistently comparing myself to girls on Tumblr, Instagram and other bloggers and just not feeling good enough. I've always been an advocate of individualism and appreciating that everyone is different BUT that doesn't mean seeing really toned girls living their lives on beaches in Australia and girls with my dream wardrobes and dream loft-apartments doesn't affect me. So, I decided to step away from social media for just two days. Delete Twitter, Instagram and other apps off of my phone and just for two days focus on my life. It is insane how much good it did me. It's crazy to me that my life has come to this, my moods being dictated by a bloody website. Even just switching off your phone, it does the world of good. Gives you time to think and actually live your life. It's definitely given me a new outlook on my social media outlets and made me less dependant on them.
9. REMEMBER YOU WILL COME OUT OF IT AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER
There have been a couple of points in my life in which I've genuinely wondered whether there was any point in going on and it's a scary thought. Now this is aimed at everyone, but I think if you suffer from a mental illness this might chime with you. You kind of look at it as if you weren't around, things would be no different and yeah to be honest you are one of a billion million [however many people there are on earth] BUT you're you. You wouldn't have been born if there wasn't a reason for your existence. Seriously, I'm a strong believer in fate.
Today, you might have smiled at someone on the train that was thinking of committing suicide and now, that smile, something so damn small as a stranger smiling at them might well have saved their lives. I know that's quite a dramatic example but my Dad told me that once and I've never looked at things the same.
You might be in a place where you think it can't get any better but who's to say that you won't meet the love of your life next week or you'll land a job that ends up taking you onto the path of your dream career?
At the end of the day, life is tough. There's a lot of shit in the world and we all consistently face things that try to knock us down BUT you're not alone. In the blogging world alone I've seen so many people experience different things and welcome sharing it and helping others. On Tumblr, I've seen complete strangers unite to help spread strength and positivity.
I'm sure you can find everything mentioned in this post elsewhere but I wanted to write it regardless...even for myself. I'm in a good place at the moment but I know that I'll need this again at some point.
